Bees, Boobs, and Defeat

What are the odds of a bee flying up the BOTTOM of your shirt in COLD weather and then stinging your stomach while out for a run? Just ask Megan. Apparently the odds are 100%.

The unexpected sharp pain of the sting caused Megan to come to a schreeching halt. She began to yelp and holler without inhibition, while desperately pawing at her stomach. Several dogs chimed in to her noise, and I couldn't figure out what was going on. After digging in her shirt, and flashing me quite blatantly (for fear the bee was in her bra, sure...) we found the black and yellow culprit. He fell to the ground half-dead from Megan's backlash, and I smashed him triumphantly, finishing the job "Take that, bee! That'll teach YOU to sting MY running mate and mess up our pace and running stats!" As usual, I proved to be the brave one during this run.

We kept running along, despite the bee disturbance. But then, around mile 4 a bug flew directly into Megan's eye. She couldn't get it out, so she just left it festering in there. She was defeated. We ran back to our vehicles and called it a day, understanding that not every run can be a great one. Here's to hoping that YOUR run turns out better than ours was!

Miles of smiles from the Original Rotten Runners,

Jetta and Megan
http://www.rottenrunners.com/

What rotten things do you love about running?

There are many less-than-refined things to love about running...
What rotten things make you laugh on your runs?

We love snot rockets (the thicker the better), rhythmic farting, non-rhythmic farting, diarrhea (the kind that comes with no notice), nausea, vomiting, body odors (and not just the ones from our pits), chub-rub, blisters, Vaseline or Body Glide, spitting, squatting behind a tree, muddy legs, salty sunscreen residue, bloody nipples (on other people), nasty laundry, stashed water, handheld mace, dogs that come outta nowhere, friendship, a little time away from our babies, the adventure of rural runs, and caffeinated energy gels.

Of course, many of these things aren't a bit funny until after the run is over.
Who woulda thought running could be so rotten?

Miles of smiles from the Original Rotten Runners,
Jetta and Megan
www.rottenrunner.com

If a tree falls in the forest...

Megan and I couldn't avoid doing a 17 mile long run in the rain today for three reasons 1) this was the first chance we'd had to catch up with one another in two weeks, 2) we are training for the California International Marathon (CIM) and really needed to keep building our distance, and 3) it was rainy yes, but not cold enough to be severely uncomfortable-- just moderately uncomfortable. So before the sun rose, we drove off together, to our long-run destination. I was secretly disappointed that I couldn't find an excuse legitimate enough for me to stay home in bed.

So, we took off chugging along down the secluded, non-residential, partially paved country road in the pouring rain. Not even the cows were dumb enough to be out. Good conversation and exhausted enthusiasm made the miles fly by. At about mile 15, just as I was starting to really whine about being fatigued and stiff, we heard a very loud and frightening noise...CRACK!! I jumped and instinctively grabbed Megan's arm-- as if Megan, who is 100 lbs sopping wet (quite literally today)-- was going to save me from this potential danger. I looked all around wild-eyed like an animal in the night trying to identify the location of the noise. After a few seconds, we realized that the "danger" had been nothing more than a fallen oak tree branch. The fresh oak meat splintered in the rocky creek below proved our theory. It was at this point during our run that we were finally able to definitively answer the age old question "If a tree falls in the forest, and two crazy runners happen to be meandering by-- does it make a sound?" YES, YES, yes it DOES make a sound!

It was also during this run that Megan came up with our newest Rotten Runner t-shirt phrase. The phrase is so intensely inappropriate, but at the same time fundamentally accurate, especially for today's soggy 17 mile long-run: "Running in the rain gets me wet." Look for it soon in our online store!

Miles of smiles from the Original Rotten Runners,
Jetta and Megan
www.rottenrunner.com

Rotten Runners unite!

Megan and I love running. We love that running is our time-- a time when we don't have to identify as mothers, wives, students, employees-- we are simply runners. We love feeling healthy, energized, accomplished, young and fit. We motivate each other, hold each other accountable, and enjoy each other's company. We aren't entirely innocent though, as we run along.

During long training runs (and shorter ones too!), our conversations always seem to steer towards the gutter. As the miles go by, we are busy cracking up at our own bathroom humor, caught up in our long-run delirium. It was during a long run one morning, that we decided we would purchase gutter-humor running shirts for our upcoming marathon-- shirts that were sure to make our fellow marathoners chuckle as they passed by. Despite extensive online research, we were unable to find our shirts-- we ended up having to make them ourselves!

We were quite surprised, and it got us wondering: Are there really be no other rotten runners out there like us?  Are we the only runners who trudge along talking about farting, pooping, and sex as if we were in third grade? We decided there HAD to be more runners out there like us...there was just no place for us to congregate in a united front.

We decided we needed to create a platform for the rotten runner-- a place where rotten runners across the country could unite and express themselves to one another without shame... and without having to deny who they truly are. Our rotten platform begins here with this blog, and extends to a product line that we designed  consisting of  highly inappropriate running apparel and accessories. We also have a website at www.rottenrunner.com, and have created a facebook page for rotten runners to find one another. With these tools, rotten runners will never have to feel alone or embarrassed again.

Miles of smiles from the Original Rotten Runners,

Jetta and Megan
www.rottenrunner.com